Member-only story
Why do people always react when I say I won’t get married someday?
I always think they’re weirdoes.
It’s actually my life, why would people who don’t even get along with me that much put their hopes in someone who really doesn’t want anyone to care about herself?
I just need some peace of mind.
Everyone pointed their fingers at me when I said I wouldn’t come when my friends got married, wouldn’t wish them a happy birthday, and said that knowing me was just an impossible daydream to achieve, even my own parents didn’t really know me.
My mom and dad were always so busy, there wasn’t even time to know how I was doing that day.
They weren’t there when I cried because my finger was bleeding from running around the house as a child. I treated it myself.
I was the person they expected me to be now: always cheerful and open to anything.
Too late? I don’t think so. But it feels like my phase of needing affection and validation has passed, and I’d rather re-read a book that I finished dozens of times rather than join my parents for dinner.
I changed my clothes and took my two favorite Mieko Kawakami books and put them in my bag. I wanted to go somewhere where I could escape the noisy world.
